NASPA - WRC Presentation "It's Okay Not to Be Okay: Toxic Positivity"

Date: November 13, 2021

Description: I partnered with Albin Lee and Jimmy Nguyen to present at our first NASPA conference on Toxic Positivity. Abstract: When individuals face difficult emotions, it may be easy to encourage positivity. However, rejecting difficult emotions in favor of optimism may actually be counterproductive and more harmful to one’s mental health, creating toxic positivity. Using Rendon’s Validation Theory, we review why it is important to validate the students' experience as well as best practices to support them in these situations.

Learning Domains Addressed (Labels):

• Leadership

• Social Justice & Advocacy

• Education

• Assessment & Evaluation

• Personal Development

Learning Outcomes:

• SLO #1: Student will be able to (SWiBAT) collaborate with cohort members to create an activity to practice validation.

• SLO #2: SWiBAT present the SODAS method to conference attendees

Evidence:

Reflection:

SLO #1: SWiBAT collaborate with cohort members to create an activity to practice validation.

We were very excited to be selected to present at NASPA - Western Regional Conference this year! As Graduate students, we doubted that Student Affairs professionals would accept that we were qualified presenters on this sensitive topic of Toxic Positivity. What started as a venting conversation between Jimmy and me bloomed into an exciting topic that packed a session room with attendees choosing to stand in the back of the room! Using Dr. RGK's case study template on creating lesson plans, we had a very detailed submission that translated well into our presentation.

The only aspect of our presentation that needed reworking was our activity. Albin, Jimmy, and I want to incorporate the concept of having a moment of vulnerability on a sticky note (See image 2). I have always thought that writing it down solidified that you felt hurt by that moment. It challenged participants to reflect, accept that they were hurt, and share that moment with someone else. Our original plan included multiple small groups where participants would read each other sticky notes and validate the group. After getting feedback from our NASPA proposal reader, we realized that we might not have enough time to execute everything we wanted. We found that it would take too long to split into groups and individually share sticky notes. Instead, we adapted it to share with someone near you with a different color sticky note. Each individual shared their sticky moment and then took a few moments to write a validation statement on a white index card (see image 3 and 4). If participants didn't want to share their sticky note moment, they could do the activity by themselves by practicing what they would have liked to hear as a validation statement.

I was afraid our session would be depressing, considering everyone was reflecting on a hurt moment, but I was amazed by the loud conversation in the room. Participants were engaged, excited to be heard, and validated. I watched Vice Presidents share with students their vulnerable moments and students practicing how to validate experiences. In a moment of pure spontaneousness, I challenged the room to thank their partner and share contact information on the back of the index card. I hope through our activity; we created connections for future and current student affairs practitioners. Students and staff all want to feel heard and validated when hurt.

SLO #2: SWiBAT present the SODAS method to conference attendees

During my Fall 2021 fieldwork with Guardian Scholars, I learned a coaching technique called SODAS, an acronym for Situation, Options, Disadvantages, Advantages, and Solutions. Guardian Scholar Specialist used this tool to guide students through challenging situations. It provided students a way to map out their options, write a pro and con list and assess what option was the best for them. This method provided clarity for students to see that their situation may be challenging but not doomed. They had choices that were in their control. They just needed to see which one best fit their needs.

After our presentation activity, we quickly debriefed the activity, asking a pair to share their experience. We then asked the participants if they found the activity challenging to validate via words. I then introduced SODAS to validate experiences by engaging with the topic with students or colleagues (See image 5). Validation doesn't mean you have to agree or say nice things; it could be shown through actions of "let's do this together, you are not alone." Having someone walk the tough road with you is just as validating as words of affirmation.

A special thank you to our MSHE family that attended the conference, we were nervous but knew we had friends in the audience (see image 7)

References or Sources:

Father Flanagan's Boys' Home. (2005). Advanced lesson plan - boystowntraining.org. Soda Techniques. https://www.boystowntraining.org/assets/sodatechniques.pdf.

Question: How does it make you feel when someone says “just get over it?” Reflect on your hurtful sticky moment, how would you have liked someone to validate your experience? Share with a friend or in the comments below!